And I AM doing ok, in fact, I am doing GREAT!

It’s been 3 months since my external world experienced a major makeover. After a trip to the West Coast then the East, I am now back in the familiar foothills of Boulder, back in the warm loving embrace of all my friends and lovers, new and old. I still feel mostly myself. But something definitely shifted deep down inside.

About 2 weeks ago, when I was rehearsing with Ryan and Sandra for the Nordic Fiddle concert at Sandra’s house, I became aware of this lightness in my spirit that I have never felt before. It suddenly dawned on me that all the heartbreak, disappointment, and frustration I had to endure over the last couple of years really served one big purpose: to expand my heart. No wonder I have been laughing and crying so much more, and in general have been able to express more of my true authentic self. Somehow the edge and resistance is gone. It’s no longer about “Why can’t you love and accept me for who I am?!!?” but more about “I can laugh and cry, love and hate, rejoice and despair…can you:)?”  I still get upset, I still get frustrated when things don’t work out. I still feel pangs of hurt when I think back on those dark times, but these feelings now are just as natural and free flowing as falling in love or being happy. I am able to become more of an observer of these emotions as they come and go like clouds floating by in the sky. The gnaw of doubt and guilt is now replaced by a deep hum of trust and joy and acceptance.

I had some of the most magical and breath-taking musical experiences in January, which is probably why I am not feeling as much the harshness of winter. In the past few years, this is typically the time when I start to feel a little depressed and my health usually takes a pretty drastic downturn. But so far, I am feeling pretty great (knock on wood)! And looking ahead at all the fun stuff I am getting to do this month, it sure feels like Spring!

Like January, February looks like a happy kaleidoscope of musical rainbow (see Tour page for Feb schedule)

When the rain comes pouring down
When hope’s nowhere to be found
Just close your eyes and look within
For that eternal bubbling spring

Make peace with your friends and foes
Make love to the ones you hold
Sow the seeds of compassion and hope
Watch the flowers bloom and the river flow

Let the clouds of yesterday
Blow away with the winds of change
Plant your roots firmly in the Now
There’s no need for lies and vows

Let the muddy water clear
Be silent if you want to hear
The sweet whisper of Mother Earth
Her best wishes for this brand new year

Now post-BAS and post-married life, I find myself seeking out every opportunity to be close to the sand and the crashing waves and the soaring seabirds and the salt in the air. I am putting forth my message to the Higher Powers loud and clear: I would like to spend more time by the sea in 2010!!!!

I have been invited by my friends, Dick and Jenny B. to spend time with them in the Santa Cruz area. So I took off and drove straight west on solstice night to hurry to the waves. Most of the drive went very smoothly, including the entire length of Wyoming; which for those of you who’s ever had to drive through the state, know about the unpredictable and tempestuous blizzards that could strike at the most inconvenient moment. But Wyoming was bone dry the entire stretch of I-80. It only started to rain and snow a little as I was about 100 miles from Reno.

Having experienced 9 winters in Colorado, I naturally thought nothing of the little sprinkling of precipitation. I also conveniently ignored all the traffic signs that warned about “chain requirement”. So I finally arrived in Reno with a ravenous hunger at around 8pm and checked myself into the In-n-Out Burger by Sparks. After a greasy sandwich, I was ready to push through the final stretch of my journey. As I kept going up the mountain, I started to pay attention to the number of vehicles, trucks and non-trucks parked on the side of  the highway to put chains on their tires. As I approached Truckee, a few miles from the summit, it occurred to me for the first time that I might have to put on chains like everybody else in order to be allowed to proceed. And sure enough, a couple of miles after that realization, I found myself stopped at a checkpoint in Truckee, amidst all the semis and non-semis, 4-wheel drive vehicles and non-4WD ones. I was informed that if I wanted to drive on to and through the summit, chains were required on my car.

The gentleman who broke the news to me ran an on-site “chain support” business. He offered to sell me a set of chains and offered to put them on for me for a package deal of  $70. But I declined. Not only because of how much he was charging, but mostly because I was tired enough that I didn’t want to deal with the hassle of putting chains on and taking them off and putting them back on again. Especially in the cold, in the dark and in the snow.

What happened in the next 16 hours was definitely an interesting study of my tendencies as a human and my relationship with the Universe. So after I bade the chain support guy farewell, I veered off the highway and found myself in downtown Truckee at 9pm. I kinda just drove around town trying to decide what to do next. I was definitely annoyed with the Universe for this inconvenience. I left Colorado to get away from the snow, and there I was, 16 hours later, stuck in the snowiest and coldest place in the Sierras, indefinitely…

So after going around the block the 4th time, my tired mind and my swollen right foot decided that it’s time for me to quit driving and retire for the night. The question was, ‘where?’  The answer was, ‘here in the car.’

It really was interesting to note that, one, I was such a ‘cheap’ person, not willing to even consider the possibility of finding an affordable lodging with a bed and hot shower, and two, that I didn’t bat an eyelid to the potential danger of being frozen to death with temperatures expecting to drop below zero in the middle of the night.

So basically, I found a little corner spot in a parking lot in a strip mall, parked and blasted the heat for about 3 more minutes, turned the car off and curled up into my sleeping bag at the back of my 1989 Toyota Camry station wagon and went to sleep.

So obviously I survived the experience, as I am now sitting here in a cafe in the Mission in SF a week later, having just dropped Dick & Jenny off at the airport to fly to New Zealand for their 6-week long camping vacation.

The rest of the story was just me waking up in the car around 8:30 in the morning, the insides of the windows were all frosted over with condensation from my hot steamy breath overnight, and the outside was completely covered in snow. It turned out to be just fine; my sleeping bag did what it claimed to do, I waited till around noon before they finally lifted the chain advisory. Until then, I really had no idea how much longer I might have to wait. I was having intimate conversations with the Universe the whole time and checking my phone for the status of the freeway. And it wasn’t when I finally gave up and pulled in to a gas station ready to purchase my first ever set of chains that I looked down at the freeway and gasped in ecstasy that the roads looked completely passable and no semis were parked on the shoulders unlike the chaos that was just 10 hours ago.

I learned quite a few things from this whole experience. But I have to say, the biggest lesson I learned was once again the transient nature of Life. I was reminded once again of how if we gave things and events and people time, they would all eventually run their courses and move on. Of course, here I am mostly referring to unfavorable situations. But I think it is equally important for us to keep this in mind with things that we love and enjoy. I think we will start to cherish every little moments of our lives and live each moment and love each other to our fullest heart-capacity.

It is closing time at this coffee shop, it’s time for me to bring this story to a wrap and go get something to eat.

For those of you reading this, I love you all and I wish us a magical year ahead and most importantly, that we live out the remaining 4 days of this year with grace and embrace all the little and big miracles that happen every moment.

to be cont’d.

Over Thanksgiving, I was invited to no less than ten dinners, but was only able to attend only four?, including an early one at Josh Blue’s on the Tuesday before in Denver.

It’s pretty amazing how quickly I was reconnecting with all my friends in Boulder and being received with open hearts and arms. Everybody has been wonderfully supportive, but I would like to specially thank the following people for their generosity towards supporting my musical ventures as well as offering to put me up:

-I would like to thank my old friend, Juliette Bartsch for facilitating my residency position with the Boulder Public Library so I can fully flex my creative muscles in service of the community.
-I would like to thank the Hybertsons (Allison, Brooks, Jens, Trace, Wren) for getting my plane ticket to New York for the APAP conference.
- The Brewer/Brand family also contributed towards my trip to New York in January.

The following are friends who’ve offered to host me during this time of transition: The Huseks, the Gallers, The Brewers/Brands, Shannon F, Rhonda S. just to name a few.

It’s also remarkable how quickly I was reintroduced to the diverse musical communities in the front range which is reflected on my December schedule (see Tour Dates for details)

Even during the hardest times, it never once felt like I was abandoned by the Universe to be left to my own devices, left to hack myself out of the briar patch. It just felt like I was put in that position intentionally to learn, to grow. I needed to have that experience, to be in that space; I needed to taste all that sweetness, all that bitterness, deal with all that heartbreak and anguish and frustration, to finally steer me to a place of clarity, acceptance and surrender…

It was good to observe that even after all that beating and falling down, the center of my core remains absolutely intact, not a scratch, not a bump, it remains ever so pristine and clear, without an ounce of fear and doubt. It almost felt like a test, a test of the firmness of my beliefs.

Even as a kid, I treasured Freedom. I remembered clearly at the age of 10 or 11, arguing with my parents that I was not getting enough trust and freedom from them. I felt like I was old enough to deserve these “basic rights”. I have always felt imprisoned by the rules set by other people, by the society,  by my own parents,  by the school system, by the army, and, and, and….the list goes on…The truth is I never really feel completely happy when I am told what to do and what not to do. I have always felt that the “freedom to be” thing is just as basic and just as important and life-sustaining as breathing. I have always despised people who are judgmental and critical and impose their ways and beliefs on others. “Live and let live”, that’s always been one of my motto.

So, I am still on this quest to live this freedom, to keep opening myself up to the Universe, to savor all the fruits Life has to offer, to take every step with complete trust and honesty and grace, to give and receive love as freely and naturally as sunrise and sunset.

My plan is to continue making music, writing, singing and playing songs that inspire openness, acceptance and love. I had a journalist asked me the other day how I resolve to promote peace through my music, which I thought was an awkward question. To which I replied in the most spontaneous and honest way I know how, I said that it is not up to me to promote anything, and really there is nothing to promote, because all that we ever need and want, we were given since the day we were born. My job here is just to help return our attention back to the beauty that surrounds us and resides within us.

Swallow Hill, July 3rd 2009, 8:00 pm
Advance: $16 non-members/$14 members, day of show $18/$16

BUY TICKETS

featuring: Scott McCormick, Charlie Mertens, Brett Bowen, Carl Sorensen and
Special guests Roshan Bhartiya on sitar, Andy Skellenger on tabla, and dancer, Eva Cernik

Music has the power to reach across boundaries, spreading joy and understanding like nothing else can. Fiddler for peace, Kailin Yong, returns to Swallow Hill to share in this joy with a fantastic evening of original music featuring many talented artists sharing their experiences, art, dance and poetry toward a musical mission of peace. We’re celebrating Independence Day with the universal language of music to spread a message of hope across cultural divides, inspiring a sense of unity and purpose.

Yong does have the chops to bring a unique feeling and international flair to each track, his skills honed as much in the residencies of academia as they were on the streets of San Francisco. Also impressive is his restraint, as he knows when to let the other collaborators in each arrangement take the lead and when to chime in with his own unique voice. The violin is, of course, the focus of each track, but it is still integrated into each song with a tuneful ear for what fits rather than playing the role of the spotlight-starved diva.

Our first two shows went super well with lots of love from friends, family, new faces and old. I had a great time playing with some of my best friends and colleagues. I can’t thank everyone enough for helping me get this project going – all of the musicians, poets, dancers and friends that helped out – it’s been a beautiful thing to see this project come to life.

Here you can check out a bit of the show – this is a video from our Oct 3rd peace concert at Swallow Hill. Its a musical exploration deep Within…”look within yourself – therein lies an eternal fountain of joy and peace. Nurture your roots and the leaves, the flowers, the fruits will take care of themselves.”

I am having such a great summer and I realized this morning that once again, I got out of bed filled with a sense of joy, peace and curiosity for what lies ahead. Everyday is an exciting and intriguing new adventure and I am savoring every moment

I had a pretty full, fastmoving and exciting last couple of weeks. And looking ahead to May, there is no sign of slowing down!

I have been diligently working on finally finishing my solo cd over the last couple of months. We just did a final mixing at Airshow with James Tuttle. I think it’s turning out to be a beautiful record-a musical journal documenting the last 10 years of my wandering gypsy musical life. We are going to be working on the artwork and the BMI stuff and finally sending it to press. I am hoping for a mid-summer release!

Speaking of cds, BAS released its 4th album on April 1st. It’s called Caged Bird and it is by far the best effort from this group since we got together in 2004. My only compositional contribution is the 7th track on the disc called Cruel Monkey. It’s featured on the media page. Check it out! There will be a big cd release show at the Fox Theater in Boulder on May 14. Hope to see you there!!

In other news, my best friend from Singapore, York Sin is coming to visit us on May 11. He is currently on a world tour that includes big cities like Buenos Aires, London, Moscow, Rio de Janeiro, Tokyo. And then, there is Denver:) I feel honored and excited that he picked Denver so he can come spend time with my wife, Ellen, and I.

The month of May has a lot of new and exciting events to look forward to, including the above mentioned BAS Boulder CD release show at the Fox.

Going in chronological order:

May 1st, I will be teaching a world music fiddle workshop focusing on middle eastern, Brazilian, Argentine tango and chinese music stylings. 7-9pm at Swallow Hill. www.swallowhill.org

May 3rd: Tango Extravaganza at the Turnverein. I will be joining forces with some of the best tango musicians and dancers along the front range to present a fantastic showcase of this very unique art from. The evening also includes a free tango lesson, Argentine wine, tango fashion and art exhibit and social dance until at least midnight! www.tangocolorado.org/news

May 6th: More Afro Samba grooviness at the St Julien Hotel. We bring back the amazing Jesse Manno to play drums for us. Every Tuesday from 6:30pm to 9:30pm

May 8th: BAS @ Acoustic Alley in Gloden

May 9th: BAS @ Black Rose Acoustic Society

May 10th: BAS @ College of Santa Fe and Newman House Concert

May 13th: Afro Samba

May 14th: BAS CD release at the Fox Theater

May 15th: BAS CD release at Bongo’s in Salida with the amazing Driftwood Fire!

May 16th: BAS @ Steve’s Guitar in Carbondale

May 18th: Kailin playing solo at the Hell Yeah Church. Cafe Babu in Boulder 11am

May 24th: Beco Do Choro plays again!!! Bongo Billy’s in Salida 8pm

May 29-31: BAS @ Buffalo Commons Storytelling Festival in McCook NE